If I'm honest with myself, I know that while, as young man, I laughed off my school failures publicly. But privately, every time I came up short, I lost a little bit of that sense that all children and young people deserve, that sense that I was capable of anything. I spent the last decade recovering from that.With those few short lines he distilled my youth and laid it out in a way I've never really been able to verbalize. I suppose I am still recovering dodging behind earnings and being busy. Perhaps I'll erase the sins of the past through my children's proper and more traditional upbringing. Wouldn't I want them to go Ivy if they could? I think probably yes.
1/14/2009
Resentment of the trust funded, lucky and the Ivy League.
I've always had this totally irrational dislike and resentment of the more fortunate. The Upper East Side, The Dalton and Feildston Schools, The Ive League, The Hamptons etc. If you know NYC, you get the profile. Daddy's kids. Its the one thing I didn't like about Obama at first, his prep school/Ivy League background. Yup, I'm a hater.
I've searched out the Ivy grads with impunity throughout my life always looking for the angle where some trajectory of my life had superseded theirs despite their high education or luck of birth vs. my non-education. Its pretty cool to be resentful in this way when you can have MIT and Stanford rocket scientists and Harvard CEOs indirectly depending on you for their livelihood. Feeds the wolves.
I've just read something from Ta-Nehisi Coates " I saw the best minds of my generation..." that has given me serious pause. Don't get me wrong I've always understood the cause of my resentment is jealousy but "my mentality is what, kid". So what.
Then TNC wrote:
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funny i should read this after speaking with someone about why i socialize with folks that have way more money than me, live in a totally different world than me, you get the gist. As far as im concerned if i think your ok it doesnt matter what you do, how, where you grew up, education etc.. I worked with a great investment banking group in one of my many lives ;) and this particular group had monthly get together's. At one of these gatherings i was chilaxin i call it with those closest to my rank, analysts, associates and a sprinkle of vp's who were amazingly down to earth. We were shooting pool, drinking, "socializing" (however for me it's always work since i luv to study and learn about people and their habits, ways etc.) so the topic comes up about the hood, the Heights, crime, fighting, attitudes, loud people, all the drugs easily available there (WOW! im convinced EVERYONE smokes weed now) the stereo typical conversation i think when folks find out im from the heights. Most people feel really relaxed around me and open up very easily.. im not judgemental and answer questions candidly without taking things too personal..basically i really dont care what anyone thinks about me, my education, my upbringing..i am what i am.... every situation is a learning experience and i believe people are brought together for a reason discovered somewhere in their inter actions with each other. believe it or not these ivy league, prep school, private school, trust fund babies are many times envious of our experiences in the "Hood". i've heard commented it prepares one for the real world. (? i still dont get that one) They admire those of us that have not succumbed to the temptations of the streets, crime, etc. They understood there are haves and have-nots, in school most had "urban economics" courses..imagine that!.. someone learning about how i live in my little WaHi hood! they understood the reasons for alot of dysfunction in the inner cities of america.. they came from all over the US, Asia, the best ivy league and private schools, double majors accomplised in 6 or less years (this particular group was crazy kewl; i've hung with others that are just adult brats) the bottom line is some of us hate until we meet those we hate on and work, interact, meet deadlines daily. when you get to know someone and are just a human being then you discover we are not that different after all. i grew up where i did, why i did for a reason. i think i will find out someday.. i am currently pushing my kids to every scholarship and grant that can help pay for their college. They are not here to find out why they grew up where they did. They are here to get out of this shithole called the hood and be able to look back and say damn im glad i got out of there!
ReplyDeleteWe’ve lived similar lives in a way. I’ve heard the better prepared for the “real world” and got all sorts of mileage on working the “I’m street smart” angle. Which makes me more street smart for doing so no? :P
ReplyDelete"the bottom line is some of us hate until we meet those we hate on and work, interact, meet deadlines daily. when you get to know someone and are just a human being then you discover we are not that different after all."
That’s a great point and I agree completely. This type of bias is faceless; it’s the idea or the perception of that world that is the cause for my hateration and the interactions with the adult brat crowd you mention. I have a close friend of the family who did selfless things to open the universe for me when I was a troubled kid in the hood, this guy is as Ivy as one can get but I never do see that in him, I just see him.
Thanks for the comment, enjoyed it.